


Stop Your Tears

by Luthien11



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, One Shot, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soft Kylux, and a little ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 00:23:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7954855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luthien11/pseuds/Luthien11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben is coerced into signing up to an exchange programme between Californian and Irish schools, where he’ll be staying with an Irish student for nine days. All he knows about his partner is that he’s 17, lives somewhere around Dublin and is called Armitage Hux. </p><p>The angsty teen romance that no one asked for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop Your Tears

**Author's Note:**

> Ben is 16 and Hux is 17 in this fic 
> 
> All places are real, including Hux’s cottage which is based on [this house.](http://www.dublinsgreatestates.com/listings/sorrento-cottage-vico-road-dalkey/) Yes I did too much research.

“Hey Ben, why don’t we sign up for this?”

“No,” Ben said, “I can’t think of anything worse.”

Rey was gesturing towards the notice board outside of the school office. Pinned underneath an advertisement for Luke Skywalker’s upcoming pride celebration was a leaflet promoting an exchange trip between US and Ireland schools, a sign-up sheet hanging underneath it. “I’ve always wanted to go to Ireland.”

Ben attempted to walk away but before he could escape, Rey spotted Poe and Finn in the corridor behind them, holding hands as usual.

“Hey, lovebirds!” Rey yelled.

The couple smiled at them as they approached, Rey quickly filling the pair in on the idea.

“That looks fun,” Poe said, turning to Finn who was nodding in agreement.

“Yeah,” Finn said, “we can all sign up as a group.” He grinned at Ben.

Ben looked at each of his friends in turn, noting the excitement growing on their faces.

“Ugh,” he said, “why am I even friends with you people?”

“It does rain more than here in Ireland, Ben,” Poe said with a grin as he nudged him with his elbow, “it would complement your aesthetic.”

Ben glared back, stepping away.

That evening Ben was sat doing math homework, the exchange project pushed from his mind.

“Go away,” Ben said when he heard a knock at the door. His mother came in anyway.

“What’s the point in knocking if you’re just going to come in?”

“Sorry dear, but I just got off the phone with Uncle Luke and he says you and Rey are signing up for an exchange programme?”

Ben groaned as he turned to face his mother. “They are. I’m not.”

“I think it would be really great for you Ben. Besides, don’t you want to go to Ireland?”

Ben thought for a moment. “No.”

“But if all your friends are going it’ll be miserable here all alone for you,” Leia said.

She had a point. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“Of course not, dear. You can always spend more time with your father if you’re lonely.”

  _Anything but that._ “Fine, I’ll go,” Ben conceded, accepting defeat.

“That’s great dear.” Leia said, retreating from the room, “Good for you.”

*

_Two weeks later_

“I hate flying.”

“You hate everything,” Rey said, leaning back in her chair as the plane took off. Ben swallowed, trying to stop his ears from popping.

“That’s not true. And you could be more sympathetic you know.”

“If you want sympathy, go sit with Poe and Finn.”

Ben glared at her before glancing across the aisle to see the couple sat with their fingers interlocked on the arm rest. As the plane levelled off, Ben exhaled deeply before glancing over at Rey who was about to pull a sleep mask over her eyes.

“Why do they have to be so gross all of the time,” Ben said to Rey as he gestured towards Poe and Finn, the latter resting his head on Poe’s shoulder.

“Because they’re in love you idiot,” Rey said, shooting him a disdainful look before pulling the mask over her eyes. She leant back against the headrest, settling in for the long flight. Ben mirrored her movements, closing his eyes.

“Have you ever been in love, Rey?” Ben asked after a moment, eyes still closed.

“No,” she muttered. “And Ben, you may have forgotten, but it’s three am. Not the time for this.”

“Right. Yes.”

He sat back for a moment, thinking. “I wonder what it’s like, being in love.” He glanced at Rey, expecting an answer, before realising she appeared to have fallen asleep.

Ten hours later their group of twenty disembarked at Dublin Airport. Ms Kanata, the teacher in charge of the project, cheerfully attempted to hurry them along. “Come on everybody keep up!”

“Ugh,” Ben said, “how is she so cheerful? What even is the time here?” He looked around him until he found a screen with the time. “Rey, Rey it’s 9pm-we just lost eight hours.” He nudged Rey.

“Yes Ben, that’s how time zones work.” Ben glared at her and her infuriatingly fresh faced grin.  The group each tugged their suitcases behind them as they made their way through the airport where they had arranged to meet their partners before travelling to their homes for the night.

“Keep up Solo!” Ms Kanata yelled.

“It’s alright for her,” Ben grumbled, “she gets put up in a cushy hotel for nine days whilst we’re stuck under the roof of some stranger.”

“You did agree to be here Ben,” Rey pointed out.

“I was coerced.”

“And they’re not exactly strangers either. They’ve been vetted.”

“Hmm.”

They’d been told who their partners where one lunchtime in Ms Kanata’s classroom shortly after signing up for the exchange. All Ben knew about his was that he was 17, lived somewhere around Dublin and was called Armitage Hux.

“He sounds pretentious,” Ben had said after he first heard the name.

“Don’t be so judgemental,” Rey had muttered.

Ben shook his head slightly, fighting the exhaustion as they continued through the airport. He was aware of his excessive blinking, in his attempt to fight off the fatigue.

“Look,” someone yelled, “there they are!”

Ben glanced up, and sure enough a group of students were waiting for them with a hand drawn ‘welcome to Ireland’ banner being held up by a handful of them. Most seemed to be accompanied by parents.

“Kill me now,” Ben muttered. He looked down at his black docs, suddenly feeling self conscious of his attire. He hoped they didn’t presume anything negative. He hated it when people judged him as someone to be avoided just because of his black hair and clothes. He sighed as he walked.

Eventually their party came to an awkward standstill in front of the other group, as Ms Kanata shook hands with the Irish teacher who then revealed a list with the partner’s names on it.

She then began to read out names of the American students. In a surprisingly intense fashion, a name from Ben’s party would be called, and their corresponding Irish student would raise a hand when they recognised the name of the partner they’d been allocated weeks ago. One by one the pairs were introduced, before departing from the airport.

“Rey Skywalker.” A tall blonde girl waved a hand.

“That must be Phasma, good luck Ben!” Rey muttered excitedly before moving towards the girl. Phasma’s parents took Rey’s case and the girls embraced before moving towards the exits.

“I hope mine’s not a hugger,” Ben said to no one in particular. A few names later, his was called and he looked out to the group of Irish students for a sign of recognition .

The boy who he assumed was Armitage Hux didn’t wave, but simply stepped forward and grimaced.

The first thing Ben noticed was his ginger hair, a trait he vaguely new to be more common in Ireland than California. He then registered the army green t-shirt that matched his eyes, the grey skinny jeans that flattered his figure, his cold, judgemental expression.

Ben inhaled sharply before dragging his suitcase towards the boy, who immediately started to walk.

“My mother’s waiting in the car,” he said. Ben was startled to hear that his accent was clipped, sounding English and not at all like the pleasant Irish accents of the other students.

Ben struggled to keep in stride with the boy, who glanced at Ben then. “You don’t look very Californian,” he said.

“And you don’t sound very Irish, _Armitage,_ ” Ben retorted, trying not to appear pleased at his own response.

“My mother’s Irish,” he said, “I was raised in Hampshire, with my father.”

 _So he’s a snob_ , Ben thought.

“And I’d appreciate it if you addressed me as Hux. I’m not fond of my other name.

“Alright.” Ben said, a little unsure.

Eventually they reached Hux’s car, Ben now ready to collapse. The expensive looking black Volvo with tinted windows didn’t help to resolve his discomfort. “Put your case in the back,” Hux said, before sitting in the front seat, leaving Ben slightly bewildered, before the boot opened for him automatically.

Ben placed his case inside before closing the boot door and gingerly stepping into the back of the car, sitting in the back seat behind Hux. With the lights on in the car, Ben could make out the face of Hux’s mother who turned to face him.

“Hello! Ben isn’t it?” She smiled at Ben’s startled expression, her kind Irish lilt soothing his nerves a little.

Ben was immediately hit by how striking she was, her pale auburn hair flowing in waves over her shoulders.  “I-”

“You must ignore Armi, he can get in terrible moods sometimes,” she said with a smile. Ben smiled back at her with ease, momentarily considering the differences between this woman and his own mother before answering.

“It’s fine. He’s-fine.”

“Mother,” Hux muttered sounding quite frankly anything but fine.

She turned from Ben as the car pulled away. “You must be shattered, poor thing.”

“I’m-I’m ok.”

“Well it’s about an hour drive from here, so feel free to get some sleep.” She caught his gaze in the front mirror just before the car light switched off. Ben noted her eyes were the same shade as Hux’s.

“Thanks,” he muttered, glancing at the back of Hux’s head briefly before sleep took him.

The next thing he knew he was being awoken by a kind hand on his shoulder. He suddenly felt alert, aware that he wasn’t at home.

“Where exactly are we, Mrs-Hux?” Ben said as he made his way out of the car, cringing at the awkward formality.

“Please, none of that dear- just call me Bonnie. We’re at our home, in Dalkey. You’re lucky to be visiting in summer, the garden looks lovely. I’ll make sure Armi gives you a tour at some point.”

 In the moonlight, Ben could just make out the lit up entrance of a cottage, accompanied by an unfamiliar roaring sound. “Are we by the sea?” Ben asked.

“Yes dear, right on the cliffs. Like I said you’ll appreciate it in all its glory in the morning.”

She ushered Ben inside as he looked around for Hux, before spotting him moving towards the stairs. Ben took his case from Bonnie, who smiled.

“Now I hope you don’t mind Ben, but I’ve set you up a bed in Armi’s room. We do have a spare but I thought it’s nice to share-not great waking up alone in an unfamiliar house and all.”

Ben turned to look at her then, his tired mind slowly registering the new information. “Follow Armi upstairs dear, he’ll show you where the bathroom is. I’ll see you in the morning-early start tomorrow.” With that she was gone, headed toward a downstairs room that he couldn’t quite see.

Tucking a stray piece of hair behind his ear, he began the struggle of carrying his case up the stairs after Hux.

The house was pretty dark, so the sudden light shocked Ben as Hux turned on a desk lamp upon entering his room. The room’s monochrome decor provided a stark contrast to the homely clutter that Ben had glimpsed throughout the house on his way up here- and the neatness just made him not want to touch anything.

“The bathroom is en suite, through this door here,” Hux stated efficiently, gesturing to a door on the far side of the room, “and I’m using it first.” With that he grabbed a shirt from under his pillow before closing the bathroom door behind him.

Ben looked for a moment at the closed door, feeling like he wanted to defend himself, to ask why Hux seemed so resentful. He sighed before glancing around the room. Hux’s bed was king-size, with a homemade quilted blanket layered over the monochrome duvet, despite the season. What he presumed was his bed lay parallel to Hux’s a few feet between them. It appeared to be a folded out sofa bed, whilst still looking more comfortable than his bed at home.

On the far side of the room was a large oak desk and chair, scattered with papers and stationery. It was the only space in the room that wasn’t obsessively tidy. Ben wandered over to the desk, not confident enough to start spilling his case out onto the tidy floor in way of unpacking. As he approached the desk, he realised the papers were actually drawings. Drawings of clothes.

There were several notebooks laid open, with papers that seemed to have been pulled from them, most half finished. Ben leafed through a couple, surprised to find that the drawings were amazing. They resembled something Ben had seen from some day time TV show-artist impression style sketches of human forms featuring various outfits. Most were female in shape, wearing dresses with exquisite detail, or sharp angled pant suits. Others appeared to be male with flowing shirts or robes, each with a unique sense of movement or feeling.

They were brilliant.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Ben’s eyes snapped up, as he basically jumped away from the desk, trying and failing to keep the guilt out of his face. The fact that Hux had changed into just a grey t-shirt and black boxer briefs didn’t help to stop the blush spreading across Ben’s face. He certainly wasn’t bad looking.

“I was just-”

“Meddling in what doesn’t concern you?” Hux interrupted, marching over to the desk as Ben backed away.

“Yes- I mean no- I mean,” Ben took a deep breath, “these are really good, Hux.”

“Get away from there,” Hux snapped, “and why aren’t you unpacking?”

“I don’t really know,” Ben mumbled, standing by his case. He paused for a moment, regaining his composure before looking up to meet Hux’s eyes. “Do you want to do this professionally?”

Hux’s face showed something other than cold disinterest for the first time then, as he looked at the floor, then up at Ben. “I would like that, yes.”

Ben nodded. “I’ll get my things.” With that he grabbed his shirt and toothbrush from the top of his case, before heading to the bathroom.

“Ben?”

“Yup,” Ben said, stopping abruptly in front of the bathroom.

“It really wasn’t my idea to share a room, but my mother can be quite insistent. I think she hoped it would force me to interact with you.”

“Um,” Ben mumbled, unsure how to react, “that’s-it’s fine,” he finished, promptly hid inside the bathroom.

Once he was done, Hux was already in bed. Ben climbed into his own, turning to face Hux, who was staring straight at him. “Hux.”

“Ben.”

“Hux, I don’t mean to be rude, but you don’t seem particularly happy to have me here.”

To Ben’s surprise, Hux smiled then for the first time since they’d met. It was almost menacing. “I only signed up for this so I could put it on my cv,” Hux said with a laugh. “To be honest with you, I’m not sociable and I hate sharing, but I thought it would be a good idea. I’m sorry, Ben. I’m terrible.”

There was a pause then, before Ben realised Hux was waiting for a response. “It’s ok I guess,” Ben said finally, unsure as to where they stood. “So you don’t hate _me_ , per say, just the _idea_ of me?”

“Exactly. Nothing personal,” Hux replied, “I hope we can still be friends, if only for convenience.”

“I’d like that,” Ben said.

Hux laughed again, before rolling over. Ben stared at his back until he fell asleep.

*

Ben was woken up to the sound of an unfamiliar and very loud alarm.

“Ugh,” he said as he rolled over, pulling the covers over his head. It was then that he remembered where he was. Hs eyes snapped open as he watched Hux lean across to the side of his bed away from Ben to shut off the buzzing alarm.

“What time is it?” Ben muttered.

“Seven.”

“And why exactly are we awake?”

“You were given a schedule for the trip, right” Ah yes. The schedule. Ben remembered being handed one before their plane arrived at the airport in California. He also remembered stuffing it somewhere in his case, never to be seen again.

Hux sighed as if Ben’s silence reflected his carelessness. “We’re going to the National Museum.”

Ben nodded as he reluctantly rolled out of bed, swinging his legs around to the side away from Hux. He rubbed his eyes.

“I’m guessing you’re not a morning person?” Hux commented, glancing over at Ben’s hunched form as he collected his clothes from a white wood cabinet.

“Oh and I suppose you are?” Ben said, not feeling particularly tolerant.

Hux just smirked at him, before heading towards the bathroom. Ben found himself glaring at the closed door.

Whilst Hux was getting ready, Ben dragged himself over to his case, rummaging for any clothes that weren’t too creased. The sound of the shower being turned on from the en suite made him hope that maybe the hot water would wake him.  After an extended period of rummaging he settled on his most comfortable black jeans and black sleeved raglan.

Soon afterwards, Hux emerged from the bathroom, running his fingers through his combed back damp hair in a way that seemed self conscious. It probably didn’t help that Ben was staring perhaps a little too long at Hux’s white t-shirt and turned up blue jeans that may have exposed some very attractive ankles.

“Your turn,” Hux said, in an effort to break the now awkward silence, “don’t take too long.”

Once Ben was behind the closed bathroom door, his chosen clothes bundled in his arms, he very nearly panicked. Did he have time to blow dry his hair? He dithered in front of the shower for a moment, still wearing the underwear and shirt he slept in, before opening the door to ask Hux. Hux was currently sat at his desk, leafing through a notebook.

“Um...”

“What do you want Ben?” Hux said, without turning around

“Do I have time to...?”

“Wash and dry your hair? Yes, that’s why I got us up so early- now hurry up,” Hux said, still not looking at him. Ben quickly shut the door again, pulling off his night clothes before jumping in the shower. He took a deep breath in and out.

After Ben had self consciously dried his hair using the bathroom mirror (after a further embarrassing rummage through his case) they descended to the kitchen, which Ben observed was incredibly pleasant, in the light of day.

The room was white washed with dark oak beams crossing the ceiling, like the rest of the house. Eggshell blue cabinets lined the wall and he was relieved to find that Hux’s mother was sat at a round wooden table in the middle of the space.

“Morning boys, did you sleep well?”

“Yes thanks,” Ben muttered a he lingered unsure in the doorway.

“Help yourself to cereal, dear,” Bonnie said, looking up from her newspaper. Ben followed Hux’s movements through the kitchen, concentrating on not falling over as his socked feet slid along the bare wood floor.

Eventually he mirrored Hux and sat at the small table, his bowl of cornflakes set in front of him. After a few moments of silence Hux stood abruptly. “Coffee, Ben?”

“Um. Yes thanks that would be great.” It seemed strange to have Hux address him so directly, although he was unsure why.

Ben’s gaze followed Hux from the kettle up to the kitchen window. “Wow,” he muttered, unable to hold in his surprise at the view. The window faced out onto the sea, a grassy cliff top just visible below the window. He could see a small green island a little way out, perhaps just a few hundred metres away. “We really are close to the sea.”

Bonnie chuckled at this. “Yup. Maybe you two could go out to Dalkey Island on one of your free days hmm?”

“I’d like that,” Ben said quietly, glancing at Hux’s back as he poured the coffee. He wanted to ask about Hux’s father in Hampshire, but wasn’t really sure how-or if he should. He quickly averted his eyes as the boy turned to face him.

“Milk?”

“No, just black thanks.”

Hux sat down next to Ben at the table then, their legs almost brushing. Hux fixed him with a stare as his mother proceeded to read her newspaper. Ben blushed and looked away. They ate in silence.

After breakfast, Hux’s mother directed them to get ready to leave. In the light of day, Ben noticed a series of painting lining the stairway, seeming to picture the view from the cottage with the sea in various states.

“Who painted these?” Ben asked directing his question to Hux who was a few steps ahead of him.

“My mother,” he answered as he continued up the stairs, “she’s a painter- quite a successful one at that- much to my father’s horror.”

Ben noted this second mention of Hux’s father, and attempted to enquire about his whereabouts, before chickening out. Something about Hux’s tone suggested an unwillingness to share, particularly with a boy he only met yesterday.

 Once they’d left the cottage, Hux and his mother in front, Ben a few steps behind, Ben looked back at the house. Upon his arrival last night, he hadn’t noticed the peach coloured paintwork, or how much land the house was situated on.

A few feet in front of the house, a grassy slope fell to cliffs which lead directly to the sea. But to the back and around the house, a garden full of trees and shrubs was blossoming in the summer sun. As they drove away from the cottage, everyone taking the same places in the car as they did yesterday, Ben noticed that they were in a sort of village, just with their house being a little set apart from everyone else.

About half an hour later, the car pulled up outside of what Ben assumed was the museum. The early sunshine seemed to have dissipated, rainclouds rolling in throughout the car journey that were just beginning to burst.

Ben followed Hux into the building, as Bonnie drove away.  He stopped near the entrance to wait for Ben, actually smiling as Ben drew up behind him. Ben was surprised to observe that the expression made his stomach flutter.

They made their way into the museum lobby where the rest of the group were already waiting. He caught a glimpse of Finn and Poe reuniting with a hug, as if they’d been apart for months, not hours.

Ben walked a pace behind Hux who- much to Ben’s surprise- was also heading over to Rey and Phasma. Rey was stood casually with a grinning Phasma, who Ben observed seemed much more at ease than Hux did with him, as she stood close to Rey.

“So you too are friends then?” Ben said, figuring out the connection after Hux wriggled free of Phasma’s embrace.

“Yup,” Phasma said.

“I’ve been telling her all about you,” Rey said to Ben. Ben glared at her.

“ _Lots_ to tell you Hux,” Phasma said, shooting Rey a scheming smirk before actually _winking_ at Ben. Before they could say anything else the group were silenced by a small, nervous looking man who seemed to work at the museum.

“Quiet everyone,” he said awkwardly, clearly not used to being in charge of a large group, “please.”

Ms Kanata stepped up beside him. “Silence!” A hush fell upon the group.

“Yes, thank you miss,” the man mumbled, “hello students, my name is Mr Mitaka and I’m a curator here at the museum.” He looked hopefully at the group as the silence stretched on. “Now, before you all start looking to build friendships in Ireland for the future, we here at the museum feel that it is important to first focus on Ireland’s past.” He smiled to himself then, clearly impressed with his opening.

“The part of the museum that you all have access to today is our spectacular archaeology section...”

The man droned on in an excited fashion as Rey pulled Ben back from the group with her by his elbow. “So the good news is he’s Phasma’s best friend,” Rey whispered in Ben’s ear.

“Who?” Ben replied, still half listening to Mr Mitaka.

“Armitage Hux of course, who’d you think?”

“OK,” he paused, a little lost at whatever Rey was getting at, “anything else?”

“Phasma may have inadvertently suggested he was a touch emotionally unavailable-”

“I can see that.”

“-and that you maybe shouldn’t get involved with him.”

Ben was momentarily stunned by her presumptuousness before replying. “I’m not involved,” he said, struggling to keep his voice low, “why would you think I’m involved? I hardly know the guy.  And why would she even be telling you all this?”

“She brought it up!” Rey said, her own voice rising to match Ben’s. “I was telling her who was dating out of our group and naturally I asked her if she was single.” Ben gave her a look. “What! It’s an innocent enquiry. Anyway she then told me she was, but if I was looking for options then the guy to avoid would be Hux.”

“She can’t be that good of a friend then.”

“I think she was more looking out for me, idiot.”

Simultaneously, Phasma had pulled Hux aside in a similar whispering fashion.

“So Rey and Ben are best friends.”

“That’s good,” Hux answered disinterestedly.

“I told Rey to not get involved with you, so she’ll probably pass that on to Ben.”

Why would I get involved with either of them?” Hux replied, his interest peaked now.

“Course not.”

“I wasn’t! And I probably didn’t make a particularly good first impression on Ben, even if I did have such intentions. ”

“He’s not your type at all then,” Phasma replied sarcastically.

Hux glared. She glared back. Hux looked away.

“Anyway,” Hux said, eager to steer the conversation away from himself, “Rey’s cute.”

“And single,” Phasma said, with a grin.

“Maybe I should warn her away from _you_ , Phasma.”

Before she could form a reply, the speaker came to the end of the introduction and group began to split off around them.

Ben remained with Rey for the rest of the day, keen to discuss their new individual circumstances, as well as being less than keen to mingle with Hux, who still seemed cold compared to how he acted around Phasma.

After the entirety of the museum had been exhausted throughout the day, the group were taken on an afternoon scenic coach tour around the local area, dropping people off home as they went. Despite the good intentions of the tour guide, the whole affair was a little redundant, as very little could be seen through the now torrential rain.

 Hux and Ben were some of the last to be dropped off, both of them sat next to an empty seat after Phasma and Rey arrived home, with both of them being too stubborn to move next to the other.

It was late by the time they arrived home, and Ben quickly followed Hux inside the cottage, keen to escape the rain. Bonnie had already prepared some sort of stew, which Ben lapped up hungrily, whilst occasionally noting Hux’s judging glances in his direction. Bonnie hovered undecidedly for a moment, before taking a seat at the small table with them. In spite of the rain the sea seemed quieter tonight, Ben observed vaguely as the moments passed by.

“Now boys,” Bonnie said quietly, a few minutes into the meal, “I’ve got a bit of bad news I’m afraid.” They both turned to look at her then, Hux frowning slightly as they realised she must have spent the lasting silence building up her courage.

“I’m just going to come out and say it: there’s been a leak in the roof.  Its old you see and I’ve been meaning to get up there to take a look at it, but the weather’s been so wet lately I’ve not had chance and--”

“ _Mother_ ,” Hux said, seeming irritated by her waffling, “get to the point.”

“Yes well, what I’m trying to say is,” she took a deep breath, Hux sighed in annoyance, “there’s been a leak in the roof above your room dear,” she said, addressing Hux, “and I’ve been up there all day trying to fix it, but it’s not quite done, so you two may need to take the spare room tonight.”

“There’s something else,” Hux demanded, sitting up impossibly straighter now as he took in his mother’s uneasy smile. “What else, mother?”

“I didn’t notice the leak for some time you see,” she continued, clearly anxious about whatever she was withholding as she began to wring her hands, “I was downstairs painting so by the time I got up there-Armi dear, a couple of your sketchbooks were damaged.”

Hux immediately pushed his chair back, his stew half eaten and long forgotten.

“Armi wait--” But Hux was gone, sprinting up the stairs.

The silence he left in his wake was deafening. Bonnie sat at the table with her head in her hands, momentarily forgetting Ben’s presence. Ben finished his stew, before thanking Bonnie and excusing himself to go upstairs.

“I’m sorry about this, dear,” Bonnie called after him, looking up at him with a tear stained face, “and tell Armi I’m sorry too.” Ben nodded before moving upstairs to their room, hoping to collect his things before relocating to the spare, still unaware of Hux’s whereabouts.

He cautiously made his way into their room, stopping in the doorway as he took in the scene. There was a dark green tarpaulin covering the floor, with both their beds pushed to the sides of the room. Several buckets had been placed across the floor, catching the now steady drops from the ceiling. Ben looked up to see the source of the problem. Almost the entirety of the ceiling was covered in a dark water mark, the force of the rain tearing holes in the plaster in places.

Finally Ben’s gaze fell to the corner of the room, an area free of water where Hux’s desk had been repositioned. There Hux knelt on the floor, several ruined sketchbooks lying open in front of him. Sodden tissues and cloths lay around him, discarded after apparent attempts to preserve some of his work. Ben approached with caution; aware of Hux’s shaking shoulders and the small whimpering noises that broke through a hand that he tried to cover them with.

“Hux?” Ben asked tentatively as he approached. Hux continued to kneel with his head in his hands. As he came closer, Ben could see tears escaping down his face. Ben picked up one of the sodden notebooks, the careful ink outlines all smudged, much of the paper torn.

Seeming to just now being aware of Ben’s approach, Hux stood abruptly, aggressively wiping tears from his reddened face. He ran a hand through his hair.

“It’s my own fault,” Hux said quietly, blinking back the tears now, “I shouldn’t have left them all open. I like showing off too much, that’s my trouble. Father was always saying that.”

“You can make more,” Ben said, feeling a little awkward at Hux’s sudden vulnerability.

Hux’s red-rimmed eyes snapped up, his features growing hard. “Do you know how long these took me?” Hux said, his voice taking on a fierce quality.

“No, but--”

“I can perhaps salvage a handful of designs. I needed these. _Needed_ them. In a few months I’ll be applying to Art College. What the hell am I going to show them now? A bunch of ruined drawings?  I don’t have time to recreate my entire portfolio.”

“Hux, I’m sorry. There’s probably still time to--”

“To what Ben? What the fuck do you know about it?” With that he stormed over to the door. “Get your case, I’ll show you to the spare room.”

Ben watched him for a moment before collecting his things, now thanking his own laziness for not unpacking anything. He glanced at the wall clock, which was still dry and ticking. It was already ten and they had another early start tomorrow. Ben sighed, before following Hux down the corridor.

Like Hux’s the room was white washed with exposed beams running across the ceiling. There was a cabinet and a small desk in one corner with a sheepskin rug lining the bare floor. Unlike Hux’s room however, there was only one double bed.

“I can sleep on the couch, Hux,” Ben said, immediately upon entering the small room. Hux sighed deeply then, as he walked over to the window on the far side of the room that looked out to the sea, flipping on the desk lamp on the way.

“There is no couch.”

“What? Who doesn’t have a couch?”

“Mother converted the living room into her art studio long before I moved here-and both our beds our soaked.”

“I’ll take the floor then,” Ben said calmly, as he starting taking his things out of his case.

“For fuck’s sake Ben, we can just share,” Hux said, turning quickly to glare at Ben, who sort of gaped silently in response. “Don’t worry, I promise not to molest  or stab you in your sleep,” he deadpanned.

“Fine.” Ben said. They changed silently, their backs to each other. Hux pointed out that there was a separate bathroom further down the hall if Ben wanted privacy, but neither of them made the trip. They brushed their teeth together, the silence stretching on.

Ben climbed into the bed first, scooting as far over to the right side as possible, conscious of his breathing. Hux flipped off the lamp, before taking the left side. Neither of them spoke.

*

The next two days of the stay were put aside for a concept known as ‘school sharing’, or so the timetable read. Ben (who really had no clue what the day would consist of) awoke to a knock on the door. He turned over to find Hux already gone from the room, undoubtedly having gotten little sleep. Ben headed downstairs after dressing in yesterday’s jeans and an MCR band shirt.

Hux was already seated at kitchen table, impeccably dressed once again in gray skinny jeans and an oversized white and gray plaid shirt. He looked nowhere but the bottom of his coffee cup, even as Bonnie sat down with them and attempted several times to engage him in conversation. No one spoke to Ben until they arrived at Hux’s school, Hux promptly deserting him after they left the car.

The building seemed ancient to Ben’s eyes: all stone walls and arched windows-the opposite of his state of the art high school back in California.

Ben followed Hux into the lobby, where most of the group was already gathered. He moved over to stand with Phasma, dragging her away by the arm, leaving Ben with Rey.

“What’s with him?” Rey asked, looking over at Phasma curiously.

“Haven’t a clue,” Ben muttered, deciding in the moment that it would be preferable to feign ignorance than to spill about Hux’s out of character meltdown.

Ben took the chance provided by Rey’s thoughtful silence to take in the room. Two ornate staircases where situated on either side of the room, leading to the classrooms above. The school seemed so much smaller than Ben’s, with just the one building housing the entire student body. Another surprising difference from Ben’s school was the uniforms. Here students wore dark green blazers and ties, with black trousers that looked stiff and uncomfortable.

Ms Kanata once again took her place at the front of the group, preparing everyone for the coming day. She explained how they would be free to browse the building and sit in on any lessons (so long as they weren’t disruptive) and would meet in the canteen for lunch at midday, before spending the afternoon in a similar fashion.

As the group dispersed Ms Kanata’s suggestion that the Irish students were to guide the Californians was soon forgotten, with everyone wandering the school aimlessly with their friends. Ben pretended to listen to Rey babbling on about Phasma and how great she was, who had waved an apologetic goodbye towards Rey before following Hux up one of the staircases.

Ben also tried not to look disappointed at Hux’s desertion. Unfortunately, Rey was feeling particularly observant, following Ben’s gaze as he watched Hux go. “What is with you today?” Rey said, gesturing to Ben’s sullen expression.

They had made their way half up the opposite staircase to the one Hux took before Ben was able to prepare an answer. “There was a leak in the roof at Hux’s,” Ben blurted out before he could stop himself, “so now Hux and I have to share the spare room and also sort of share a bed- which it totally fine and not at all awkward.”

Rey stopped in her tracks then, pulling Ben to the side at the top of the staircase. “Ben!”

“What?”

“Literally how do you always get into these situations?”

“I don’t really know.” He breathed a quiet sigh of relief. He’d much rather have Rey presume his distraction was a result of some trivial circumstance than his emerging concern for Hux and his wellbeing.

They ended up sitting in on several interesting classes throughout the day including one on Irish ancient history and an advanced math class that Ben pretended to find indecipherable. They were told that they were let off school early in order to have designated time to explore their partner’s local area, so Ben begrudgingly said goodbye to Rey before joining with Hux for the drive home, his mother trying to be cheerful despite Hux’s silence.

Once they’d arrived, Hux immediately headed upstairs, whilst Ben lingered awkwardly in the kitchen, not completely sure what to do.

“I’ve told Armi to show you around the area,” Bonnie said quietly after a few minutes of silence, “I know he’s not the most pleasant companion at the moment but I was hoping you could take his mind off- well, you know.”

“I’ll try,” Ben muttered, feeling intensely awkward in the presence of her continued guilt that bled into every word.

Eventually Hux came back downstairs, looking a little like he may have just been crying. “I thought I could show you the island, Ben,” Hux said quietly, lingering in the doorway of the kitchen, not quite making eye contact. It was the most he’d said to him since his outburst the other night.

“Yeah,” Ben said, smiling carefully, “I’d like that.”

“Especially whilst the sun’s out,” Bonnie chipped in eagerly, before glancing warily at Hux, as if even a vague reference to weather could set him off again.

“Come on then.” With that Hux was out the door, Ben hurrying behind him. He glanced back through the front door as it closed, catching a glimpse of Bonnie in the kitchen, once again collapsing with her head in her hands on the kitchen table.

Hux lead them wordlessly up a path Ben had never noticed that led around the back of the house, lined with thick bramble bushes that threatened to snag at his clothes. As the roar of the ocean grew in his ears at their descent, Ben began to consider how they would actually make their way to the island. He wondered if Hux was expecting him to swim.

All of a sudden, the path opened out to reveal a peaceful dock, where a selection of colourful rowing boats had been tethered, bobbing slightly as gentle waves lapped against the rocky shore. Without a word, Hux pulled at a seemingly random rope, careful to keep his shoes out of the water. A pale blue rowing boat responded to the movement as Hux dragged the vessel close to the shore.

“This is it,” Hux said, looking expectantly at Ben as if waiting for some sort of opinion. Ben just gaped dumbly, left a little breathless at the way the bright sunlight caught Hux’s pale green eyes.

“Just get in,” Hux muttered, “I’ll push us.”

Ben looked at Hux for a moment more before complying, gingerly hopping into the unsteady boat before folding his overgrown body awkwardly onto one of two wooden seats. Forgetting his former care for his leather boots, Hux pushed the boat deeper into the water, before wading in after it, the water soaking half way up his jeans.

He sat down opposite Ben with surprising ease, before grabbing the paddles resting on either side.

“You don’t want me to row?” Ben asked, not wanting to seem rude, and also in part doubting that Hux’s slim stature could be effective at rowing.

“I’ve got it,” Hux muttered, “I’ve had a lot of practice since I moved here- I go to the island a lot.

Hux rowed in silence then, trying to avoid any eye contact with Ben, which didn’t put either of them at ease. Ben looked down at the blue water then, instead of at Hux. It was a perfectly calm day, the previous storm long gone. Ben wanted to tell Hux that it was beautiful.

Moments later, the island was in clear view, smaller than Ben had expected (he judged it at no more than a kilometre wide), but greener than he’d imagined with each rocky outcrop covered in some sort of growth. Hux manoeuvred their boat around the island, until a small landing platform came into view, seemingly out of place amongst all the greenery.

Hux stood suddenly, causing the boat to rock, Ben clinging to the sides. Hux smiled lightly at his look of terror.

“I know what I’m doing,” Hux said with a grin, smiling for the first time since the other night.

“I trust you,” Ben said, so quiet that he couldn’t be sure if Hux had heard him. Hux expertly hooked the rope lying in the boat around a small stump near the landing, pulling them in so that Ben could hop out, before following him onto the shore.

Ben followed him up a grassy slope, until they’d reached the full height of the island. Turning back to look at the view of shore, Hux turned to Ben. “Welcome to Dalkey Island.”

Ben smiled in response, a little stunned by the beauty of the place. To one side of him the rest of the island stretched, the grassy landscape sloping up to a small hill, where a stony hilltop ruin stood in solitary. He even glimpsed what he took to be a small herd of goats gathered by the ruin.

To his other side lay the great expanse of the Irish Sea, the water sparkling in the afternoon sun. For a very fleeting moment, Ben began to almost regret his all black attire, as a few drops of perspiration prickled on his forehead.

“Follow me.” Hux muttered. Ben did as they made their way up the hill to the old fort. The view was even better from here and Ben was about to remark on it when Hux sat down abruptly next to him, his back to the shore, his gaze to the sea.

They were at the end of the island furthest from the coast now, so Ben only needed to look down to see the waves lapping against the island shore. It was late afternoon and mid-week, meaning the island was deserted. Ben felt as if the rest of world had just disappeared.

He looked down at Hux for a moment before taking his place next to him on the grass. The damp ends of Hux’s jeans were beginning to dry now in the sun and Ben watched as Hux picked up a small pebble from the grass beside him and turned it over in his hands. His pale, slender fingers gently followed the lines on the rock’s surface, leaving Ben mesmerised by the quiet motion.

In a sudden burst of movement, Hux flung the pebble as far out to sea as he could, a small ripple momentarily disrupting the calm water before it stilled once more. Hux jumped to his feet, grabbing several more rocks to throw, each making a larger splash than the one before, with Hux letting out an angry shout with each movement of his arm.

“Hux.” Ben said quietly as he remained sitting, becoming a little anxious over Hux’s increasingly aggressive form. The other boy continued to throw rocks, his shouts increasing in volume with every motion. Ben sighed, standing slowly before turning to Hux, placing a hand on either of Hux’s shoulders to turn the boy to face him.

“Hux!”

“Ben.”

“ _Please_ , stop yelling and throwing things.” Hux let out a deep sigh then, maintaining eye contact with Ben as he continued to breathe deeply-a visible attempt to regain some self control.

It was then that Ben realised just how close they were standing, his nose just inches from Hux’s. From here he could see the freckles that were beginning to dust Hux’s pale complexion as a result of the afternoon sun. It was clear that Hux had no intention of breaking free from Ben’s hold, so before he could do something that he would undoubtedly regret he abruptly dropped his arms, sitting back down as he did so. Hux once again sat heavily next to him.

“Sorry, Ben.” Hux said, so quietly that Ben was unsure if he’d imagined it. Ben glanced at Hux, seeking some confirmation that he’d spoken, but the other boy continued to look fixedly out to sea.

“You know,” Ben started, “back home I’m usually the one to be yelling and throwing things.”

“Really?” Hux said, turning his head slightly towards Ben, “I don’t see that about you.”

“Well I guess it is usually my parents that I’m yelling at, so,” Ben said, smiling a little.

Hux smiled back, before turning once more to the sea. “And I’m not usually this unstable,” Hux muttered. Ben didn’t really know what to say to that, so they both fell quiet, letting the companionable silence grow between them as the day slipped away.

That night Ben lay awake, waiting for sleep at the edge of their shared bed as he listened to Hux’s steady breathing behind him. Figuring the other was asleep, Ben rolled over only to catch a glimpse of Hux’s open eyes in the moonlight. Neither of them said a word, but simply lay there facing each other under the cover of darkness, as if testing the other’s silence. The next morning Ben once again awoke to an empty bed.

*

The following day was once again given over to spending time at Hux’s school, continuing the similar fashion of the other day with Hux sticking with Phasma, and Ben with Rey. It was easy for Ben to slip into the quiet headspace that he often found when Rey was free to talk. This allowed him to almost forget about Hux and the way his eyes looked in the pale moonlight- at least for a little while anyway.

They were sat in the school canteen at lunch, Rey, Finn and Poe sat around the table in a formation that reminded Ben of California, and the lunchtimes they’d spend at their own canteen. As the three discussed their Irish hosts, Ben let his eyes wander across the room to Hux where he sat with his back to Ben, opposite Phasma. He looked away when Phasma caught his eye.

“What do you think Ben?” Rey said, “ _Ben._ See-he’s not even listening.”

Ben looked up to find Poe grinning at him when they all glanced across the room to follow his line of sight.

“It’s the red head,” Poe said, nudging Finn, “I think Ben loves him.”

“Don’t be an idiot Poe,” Ben said, resisting the temptation to kick Poe under the table. “What were you saying Rey?”

 Poe raised an eyebrow at this, as if Ben had just confirmed his suggestion.

“I was proposing that we all go out somewhere tomorrow as we have a free couple of days to spend time with our hosts, and seeing that Hux and Phasma are such good friends, they wouldn’t mind us hanging out as a group.”

“Yeah,” Finn chipped in, “Poe and I have already arranged to meet up with our hosts so you two could do the same.”

“Phasma said we could go into town,” Rey said then, smiling at Ben.

“Sure, why not,” Ben said, struggling to not look back over at Hux.

 

After dinner that evening, Ben sat on their shared bed writing in a small, black notebook whilst Hux scribbled away hunched over the desk. Ben presumed he was drawing new designs but was reluctant to ask.

“Did Phasma tell you about town tomorrow?” Ben said finally after waiting about an hour to build up the courage to break the silence.

Hux turned slowly in his chair then, looking at Ben in mild surprise for a moment as if he’d forgotten he was in the room.

“She did.”

“Good.”

Hux turned fully in his chair then. “Ben, may I ask what you’re doing?”

“Writing.” Ben said, feeling heat flush his cheeks.

“Writing what?”

“Journal,” Ben muttered. Hux grinned. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not laughing,” Hux said, but his smile only grew. Ben almost didn’t mind the embarrassment if it meant seeing Hux happy.

“Fine then, what are you drawing, Hux?”

“None of your business,” Hux said, abruptly turning back around to shield his papers, “besides, they’re not finished.”

Ben scoffed, before returning to his journal. He loved to write, always had. He found that keeping a journal meant that he had that one place where he could talk solely of himself and his problems, without anyone complaining. It was therapeutic.

That night, Hux was already facing Ben’s side when he climbed into bed, so Ben did the same.

“Goodnight Ben,” Hux whispered, before shutting off the light. Ben was too startled to reply.

 That night Ben dreamed of the island- of dark shapes swimming indistinguishably just below the water’s surface, and of an orange haired boy standing just out of reach.

*

“I swear Hux, I saw him staring!”

“And _I_ swear that whatever you’re implying is ridiculous!”

Phasma had been trying to convince Hux of Ben’s affection ever since they parted from Rey and Ben to explore the town alone. Ben and Hux had taken a half hour bus ride to Grafton Street- a bustling shopping area that Phasma insisted their guests had to see.

Hux used the excuse of shopping for art supplies to drag Phasma away. He looked up at the selection of materials in the store where they were currently debating the topic. He didn’t really need anything, but he could tell Phasma wanted to spill.

“You can’t deny he’s attractive, Hux,” Phasma said with a grin as Hux shot her an exasperated look. It was true- he couldn’t. Ben’s outfit today once again consisted of black jeans and an obscure band shirt that he couldn’t recognise. It was the kind of aesthetic that would usually leave Hux laughing, not thinking about whatever lay beneath.

“I blame my mother,” Hux muttered.

“So you _do_ like him!” Phasma said, nearly knocking a display of paints over in excitement.

“I never said that.”

“Sure. And how exactly can you blame this on your mother?”

“It’s got worse after the leak- which I’m sure could have been prevented. Sharing a bed with the guy hasn’t exactly stunted my admiration for him.”

“Has he ever shown that he may feel the same way?” Phasma asked carefully. Hux didn’t answer.

 

Across the sunny street, Ben was watching Rey try on a variety of knee high boots which she claimed were much cheaper here than in California. Ben attempted not to loom over her too much as she sat on a plush seat in the middle of the store.

“How’s Hux?” Rey asked, feigning innocence as she focused on lacing up another pair of shoes.

“I think he’s ok,” Ben muttered, expecting their conversation to take this turn, “he’s going through a bit of a tough time I suppose.”

“And you’re helping him through it?”

“I don’t like what you’re implying.”

“But you think he’s good looking right?” Rey said, focusing all her attention on Ben now.

“Well he’s not ugly.”

“You’re a true romantic Ben. Anyway I’ve seen how he looks at you. Not to mention that the silence between the two of you when we arrived today screamed of UST.”

“You’re kidding right?” Ben said, struggling to conceal a grin, “besides he’s a year older than us, and could probably do a hell of a lot better than me- plus I’ll be gone in a week. On top of that, we don’t even know if he likes guys.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a pessimist?”

After Rey had bought her boots, they made their way to the street corner where they’d agreed to meet Phasma and Hux. Grafton Street was busy at the best of times, but the combination of a Saturday and the sunshine meant the crowds were huge. Rey and Ben made their way to a corner of one of the colourful streets where tall terraces in a rainbow of shades towered above them. Ben could hear the distant sound of a busker playing something that sounded very much like a fiddle.

Phasma waved them over as Hux stood idly beside her, seeming distracted. Before Ben could get a word in to suggest where they should go next, Phasma moved over to Rey, a scheming grin spreading over her face. “I need swimwear,” she announced, taking Rey’s arm, “we’ll meet you back here in an hour.” With that she was gone, dragging a surprised Rey with her down one of the side streets.

Ben attempted to call after her, hoping to explain his sudden knowledge on the topic, very quickly realising that it was too late as they soon slipped out of sight. He shoved his hands in his jean pockets as he looked up at Hux.

“We could have helped her buy swimwear,” Ben muttered. Hux looked up at him then, grinning quickly before reasserting his features into a more composed expression.

“Come on, I’ll show you my favourite coffee shop.” Hux turned then, walking down yet another side street, Ben following behind. His relief at Hux having a quick plan about how to handle this situation was a little drowned out over his brain’s reaction to Hux’s outfit from this perspective. The other boy had opted for olive green skinny jeans, and a well fitted pale denim shirt, open at the neck, sleeves rolled. Teamed with a pair of brown leather ankle boots, Hux’s outfit seemed better put together than anything Ben had worn in his life.

Ben drew up next to Hux, a little afraid of losing him in the crowd as they moved through the busy street. They took a sharp left turn, moving through a marginally quieter street, orange and green bunting criss-crossing over head between the buildings. The path merged into a cobbled street, just as Ben felt his and Hux’s fingertips brush in an attempt to move between other shoppers.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ben caught Hux looking at him, the sun once again splattering his skin with auburn freckles as they moved towards a selection of street stalls that lined the road. Ben caught his eye, mirroring Hux’s small smile.

Hux lead them into a little cafe, with a curved blue sign outside reading the name _lemon_. The entire interior of the cafe was tinted with an orange glow as a result of the coloured lamp shades hanging from the ceilings. The resulting effect produced a warm and comforting space, a quiet oasis in comparison to the crowds outside.

Ben took a seat at a small table for two, as Hux moved to order, insisting that Ben had to try the milkshakes. He brought the drinks over to the table soon after, the place being almost empty apart from them. Quiet acoustic music mingled with the bustle from outside as Hux smiled across the table as he took his milkshake straw between his teeth before taking a sip.

“Is that not the best strawberry milkshake you’ve ever tasted?” Hux said, as he watched Ben take a sip of his own.

“It’s good,” Ben said, laughing at Hux’s disdainful glare at his lack of enthusiasm, Hux took another long sip of his drink, holding eye contact with Ben as he did so, causing a blush to creep up Ben’s cheeks.

“Why’d you think Phasma felt so inclined to ditch us?” Hux asked with a smirk, once he’d apparently bored of watching Ben squirm under his attention.

“She probably just wanted some time alone with Rey,” Ben said with a shrug, “I think Rey has a crush on her and I don’t doubt that Phasma feels the same.”

“Good for them,” Hux muttered, a fleeting dash of disappointment crossing his face for a moment.

“Good for them,” Ben agreed.

That night, Ben awoke before dawn to find one of Hux’s slender arms draped over his waist as he faced him in his sleep. Ben allowed imself a small smile into the darkness, before slipping back into a blissful slumber.

*

The following morning, Ben awoke to yet another empty bed, but for once he was glad. The ghosting touch of Hux last night had added flame to his dreams, leaving him half hard against the sheets. After a prompt cold shower, Ben moved downstairs still in his night clothes to find Hux similarly dressed at the breakfast table.

“Mother’s out at an art show all day,” Hux said without looking up from his coffee, “I thought we could have a day on the island. It’s hot enough to swim, if you’d like.” He looked up at Ben then, seeking his approval. Ben smiled first before answering, taking a moment to absorb the sight of Hux’s uncharacteristically ruffled bed head.

“Yeah ok,” Ben nodded, taking a seat opposite Hux once he’d fixed his own breakfast, “I’d like that.”

After eating Hux ushered Ben upstairs, taking it upon himself the make them some food for the trip. Once upstairs, Ben pulled on his only pair of denim shorts that fell above the knee, with his black swimming trunks on underneath and a plain black t-shirt. Once dressed he’d decided to wait in the empty kitchen, silently passing Hux on his way downstairs.

Eventually Hux descended, his hair now perfectly presented, wearing tight fitting khaki shorts and a pale blue open neck shirt. Ben noted that all of Hux’s clothes seemed infinitely better than anything he owned.

“We’ll take the boat down, and maybe we can swim while we’re there.” Ben nodded in agreement before they travelled once again in silence out to Dalkey Island.

Once they’d landed, Hux guided them to a flat area of grass midway across the island, looking out to sea. “There’s no one around,” Ben noted, searching the area in a glance for any sign of life aside from the goats.

“It’s Sunday morning,” Hux said matter-of-factly, “everyone’s in bed or at church. Besides there’s a village fete on today so I doubt anyone would forsake that for the island.” Hux dropped a small backpack from his shoulder onto the ground, before taking a seat beside it, his bare knees hugged to his chest. “We’re all alone,” he added.

Ben said down next to him, mirroring his posture as he hugged his own knees. He wanted to bring up last night, just to ascertain whether or not Hux was conscious of how close they were lying, or the gentle touch of his arm on Ben’s skin. He glanced at Hux. If he stretched out an arm, he could reach his perfect hair and disrupt its careful form. His arm remained wrapped around his knees.

“Mother was telling me how my room’s nearly dried out,” Hux said, turning to face Ben, letting the light fall on his face, causing him to squint slightly. “And she’s fixed the roof, so we can probably move back in tomorrow- back in our own beds.” Ben may have been imagining it but there seemed to be a trace of disappointment in his voice.

“It wasn’t so bad was it?” Ben blurted out, before he could stop himself, “Sharing I mean.”

“No, it really wasn’t,” Hux replied with a small smile. As the sun beat down upon them, Ben instinctively licked his lower lip, watching as Hux’s keen eyes followed the movement.

Feeling a blush spread up his cheeks, Ben quickly fell back on the grass, stretching his legs out to fully bask in the summer warmth. Hux did the same, leaving them lying even closer than they were before.

Without a word, Ben hesitantly ran a finger slowly over Hux’s hand that lay so close to his. Hux watched the movement, as Ben focused on the tracing patterns he was drawing out over Hux’s skin.

“Ben,” Hux whispered, as Ben drew his face up to meet Hux’s eyes, both of them lying with their heads on the grass turned to face each other. Hux shuffled ever so slightly closer, so their noses jut brushed. Ben felt a shiver roll down his back as he felt Hux’s soft exhale over his lips.

Some melodic bird sung overhead as they watched each other closely, their eyes daring the other to make a move. Before he lost his nerve, Ben surged forward slightly to press his lips gently against Hux’s. The other inhaled sharply, before reciprocating the careful pressure, their mouths remaining closed and tentative, the grassy earth tickling their cheeks.

Hux drew back slightly, his wide eyes drinking in Ben’s dark features, a grin spreading across his face. “I’ve been waiting for this,” Hux said quietly.

“Really? I doubted you felt the same, although Rey insisted-”

“As did Phasma.” Ben grinned at that, the smile splitting his whole face as he drew himself up, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. He looked down at Hux, casting a shadow over him. Hux propped himself up on his elbows to look up at the other boy. “Would you care for a swim?”

“I’d like that,” answered Ben, watching as Hux stood up beside him before glancing over at the still waters below with a little trepidation. “After you.”

Hux smirked at Ben’s obvious attempt to hide his reluctance, before pulling his shirt off over his head, his shoes quickly following suit, revealing his bare feet beneath. He carefully shimmied down his shorts, revealing a pair of navy trunks that were just on the right side of tight.

Without a word, he walked round to the landing dock, away from Ben, quickly shooting off into the water and swimming round to the side of the island where Ben stood watching.

“Well,” Hux said, treading water as he looked up at Ben, “what are you waiting for?”

Ben reluctantly pulled off his clothes, watching Hux’s smirk fall in shock and then growing again as Ben removed his shirt, revealing his subtly toned body underneath, before slipping into the icy water. He was surprised to find he could just reach the rocky floor as he waded over to join Hux. “It’s freezing!” he yelled as Hux just laughed.

“Well what did you expect?” Hux replied moving over to Ben so they were close enough to touch.

“Sea’s warmer in California,” Ben said with a shudder, treading water himself now in an effort to warm up. Hux laughed at him then, splashing him before swimming off at a fast pace. Ben feigned offence as he swam after him, eventually catching up with the help of his longer limbs. He caught hold of one of Hux’s fragile arms, drawing the other boy close to him.

Ben could just touch the floor here, whereas Hux who was a few inches shorter had to fight to keep afloat. Using this to his advantage, Ben pulled Hux into his arms, the other boy wrapping his legs around his waist as he clung to Ben for support.

“Well this is one way to keep warm,” Ben muttered, his lips just grazing Hux’s ear. The other boy turned his head to kiss Ben then, the cool water urging them closer together. Ben groaned as Hux’s tongue began to invade his mouth. He’d been kissed before, but never like this.

He tugged at the back of Hux’s hair when he felt Hux’s nails drag along his bare back, his length hardening slightly between them despite the cold as Hux’s body continued to press against him. All too soon Hux pulled away, laughing at Ben’s low growl of disapproval before swimming at speed to a nearby rock. He hauled himself up onto it, watching as Ben approached.

They continued like that all day, occasionally coming ashore to warm their frozen bodies in the sunlight. As they ate the bread rolls Hux had packed, Hux let his head fall onto Ben’s sturdy shoulder, sighing quietly in contentment. Ben closed his eyes to the sunlight, feeling utterly at peace. Every so often Hux would draw up to Ben for a kiss, each one lingering longer and searching deeper than the last.

By the time they rowed home that evening, the sun was low in the sky, Hux’s mother smiling almost knowingly at them as they made their way inside. “You can go back to your own room now dear,” she said to Hux as they turned to move upstairs after dinner.

Neither of them said a word as they prepared for bed, a silence that seemed less commonplace now after the day they’d shared. They lay in the dark in their separate beds for about an hour before Hux spoke. “Are you awake, Ben,” he whispered into the darkness.

“Yeah.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Me neither.”

“You sound far away,” Hux whispered, the intent clear in his voice.

“I could come over?” Ben asked, a small smile audible in his question.

“Yeah.”

Ben pulled back his own covers, before climbing into Hux’s bed. The bed was small between them, pushing them closer than they had been in the spare room. They were virtually nose to nose as their legs tangled together beneath the sheets. Ben felt one of Hux’s arms wrap around his waist, his breathing already evening out.

“You’re so small,” Ben muttered into the darkness.

“No I’m not,” Hux hissed, before shuffling impossibly closer. Ben smiled to himself before closing his eyes.

*

Ben awoke to find Hux lying close beside him, head resting on Ben’s larger chest with his legs draped across his. Ben watched as Hux’s eyes fluttered open, smiling a little at the sensation of Ben’s long fingers running through his hair.

Hux stretched up to kiss him gently, their lips brushing momentarily as Hux shifted up to face Ben, moving so he was fully seated in Ben’s lap. It was then that Ben noticed he was half hard and pressing against Hux’s thigh.

“Shouldn’t we be getting up?” Ben said as he glanced at the clock, turning his face away from Hux to try and hide the blush heating his cheeks.

Hux reached up then to caress Ben’s cheek, bringing the other boy back to face him. Shuffling his hips slightly, Hux brought his own length into contact with Ben’s, making him shudder.

“Ben, its ok,” he said quietly, his voice ghosting the other boy’s lips. Ben smiled a little, relief lingering in his eyes before sweeping down to capture Hux’s lips once again.  Tongue brushed tongue as they moved together, Hux occasionally rolling his hips, both of them eliciting small sounds of pleasure that were quickly swallowed by the other’s mouth.

All too soon Hux pulled away, grabbing the alarm clock from his bed side table. “We really do need to get up,” he said with a grin, moving off of Ben’s lap. Ben watched him collect his things from around the room, unaware of the slightly dazed smile that clung to his lips.

“You have no idea where we’re going, do you?” Hux said with a laugh before stepping into the bathroom. Ben shook his head from the bed.

“The zoo, you idiot, good job one of us listens.” With a smirk Hux shut the bathroom door. As soon as he did, Ben flopped back onto the bed, allowing the moment of pure joy to wash over him. He still couldn’t quite believe this had happened to him. Here he was making out with his older, hotter exchange partner. And yet they were leaving in three days, he suddenly realised. This couldn’t go anywhere good in that time.

Ben rolled over to bury his head in Hux’s pillow- it smelled of Hux, which didn’t help. What was he going to do? More importantly, what would Rey say?

*

“Have I ever told you that you’re an idiot, Ben?” Rey said, once she’d finished gaping at Ben’s narrative in disbelief, sitting next to him on the coach that was soon to arrive at Dublin Zoo.

“Yes?” Ben said with a grin, feigning shock as she slapped his arm.

“What do you think is going to happen when we leave hmm? You think you’re just going to be fine.”

“Why not? It’s nothing serious.”

“Ben,” Rey said after taking a breath, clearly trying to maintain her composure, “you are aware are you not, that you are the _least_ chill person on earth and are by no means capable of doing anything by halves.”

“What-that’s complete bullsh-”

“Don’t lie to me Ben, you’re probably half in love already.”

“Well what about you and Phasma then?” Ben replied, refraining from folding his arms in a sulking fashion.

“Phasma and I are just friends and you know it,” Rey said, her tone firm.

“I’ve seen how you look at her.”

“Maybe you have- but I know not to get involved with someone that lives literally thousands of miles away.”

“Well I’m sorry that I don’t possess your self-control,” Ben snapped. He looked further down the coach, observing how Phasma seemed to be lamenting Hux sat next to her in a similar fashion to Rey. He would have laughed at the sight if he wasn’t mid-sulk.

“Sorry Ben,” Rey muttered after a moment.

Ben huffed before glancing to face his cousin. “Who am I kidding? You’re right.”

Rey patted his shoulder affectionately. “There there.”

Moments later they arrived at the zoo, the coach pulling up just outside the colourful entrance. Several paths lead into the site, with a large map marking the location of each enclosure just inside the gate.

After a quick briefing about meeting at the end of the day from Ms Kanata, the group split. Poe and Finn chatted away as they wandered off whilst Rey and Phasma announced plans to find the penguins after an overhead speaker declared it was feeding time.

To Ben’s surprise Hux grabbed hold of his hand to lead them down a third path away from the main group. “I’ve been here before,” he said with a grin, in way of an explanation.

Ben glanced down at their joined hands as they walked, before glancing up at Hux whilst he concentrated on their route. Hux had chosen a green plaid shirt that brought out the colour of his eyes which once again made Ben feel more than inadequate in his continually monochrome wardrobe.

“I want to show you the elephants,” Hux said excitedly as he pulled Ben along, “if we go early there’ll be no one around.”

As much as Ben longed to be swallowed up by Hux’s excitement, he couldn’t help but replay Rey’s words as they walked, the termination of the trip hanging over him like a shadow.

“Hux, wait,” Ben called out, pulling Hux by the hand to a standstill in the middle of the empty path. In front of them lay a wide lake dotted with swans. Ben eyed them warily before continuing. “Hux, do you think this is a good idea?”

“Seeing the elephants?” Hux said, seeming genuinely puzzled.

“What-no of course not. I mean us Hux, _this_ ,” he held up their hands as evidence, “I don’t think _this_ is a good idea.”

“Why?” Hux asked, his arms falling to his sides now, their hands separating.

“Because I’m leaving, Hux.”

“But we always knew that,” Hux said with a smile as he stepped just a little closer, “but it didn’t exactly stop us. Just because it’s short-lived doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it now. Just don’t over think it.” Hux smiled at Ben’s frown, before once again taking the other boy’s hand in his. He hesitated for a moment before bringing Ben’s hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss before leading them on down the quiet path.

Ben blushed furiously and could find no words to argue as they made their way to the elephant enclosure. Despite everything, he couldn’t help wishing he’d kissed Hux sooner. He told himself he’d tell Hux that later.

They rounded a final corner before reaching a large, open enclosure. Fenced in and towering above them were three elephants. As they watched, hands pressed against the glass barrier, a small calf emerged from behind the legs of its mother.

Ben turned to Hux, watching as a grin spread across his face, which only made Ben smile more.

“Look at its precious little face,” Hux muttered. Ben paused, fully taking in Hux’s expression of pure delight.

“You’re full of surprises you know,” Ben said, laughing as Hux pulled him into a chaste kiss.

“As are you.”

Later that night, Hux once again lay curled up with Ben, his head resting on the other boy’s chest in Hux’s bed. They were both exhausted after a day exploring the zoo, followed by an evening making out in Hux’s room once his mother had headed out to meet an art dealer.

Once again it had been Hux to break it off, pulling away to pant breathlessly into Ben’s mouth before insisting that they changed for bed. Despite the warmth that Hux’s kisses provided, Ben couldn’t help but long for more. He resisted the urge to sigh.

Just then Hux looked up at him, eyes full of affection, promptly breaking off his chain of thought.”Have you ever been to England Ben?” Hux whispered into the shadowy room.

“No. What’s it like?”

“Much like here I suppose,” Hux replied, resting his head once again on Ben’s chest once they’d changed, “although I lived in a more privileged area.”

Ben hesitated for a moment before taking his chance. “Hux, how come you don’t live with your father anymore?”

“Heart condition,” Hux said after a pause, “he died suddenly.”

“Oh, um I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“Please, it was over three years ago.”

“That’s not that long.”

“Long enough.”

“So were your parents divorced then?”

“Never married. Father lived in Hampshire with his high society trophy wife. I was the illegitimate child of an affair.”

“Wow.”

“Yes it’s quite the tale. When his wife found out about me she was furious, but father insisted he raised me, something about disapproving of mother’s position or lack of career at the time- something along those lines.”

“And Bonnie was ok with that?”

“Not at all, but she didn’t have the funds to fight off father’s lawyers I suppose. He paid her handsomely of course- bought her this place as well as funding visits.”

“So how come you didn’t just stay in Hampshire after he died?”

“Father’s widow always resented me. After ensuring his will would maintain her lifestyle without my inheritance, she sent me packing. I was fourteen at the time. I didn’t take it so well.”

Ben was left momentarily speechless, simultaneously feeling sympathy for Hux and resentment towards himself at how he’d taken his own ever-loving family for granted for so long. “Hux. That’s-that’s terrible.”

“Maybe it is, but I can’t say I’ve not come to like it here. Phasma’s great, and as much as Bonnie gets on my nerves, I do appreciate that she’s trying.” Hux sighed then, letting his eyes fall closed, “perhaps I should show it more.”

“Perhaps,” Ben whispered. Ben could feel his heart slowing to match Hux’s rhythmic breathing as his eyes began to droop. He longed to fight it, knowing that every moment here was finite.

“Besides,” Hux mumbled into Ben’s chest, “if I hadn’t moved I’d never have met you.”

Ben glanced down at Hux, surprised at this sudden affection, but the other boy appeared to have fallen asleep.

*

The following day the group of students were instructed to meet at Hux’s school and prepare a presentation about their experiences throughout the trip, before showing the rest of the group their presentations in the afternoon.

But when Ben woke up to find Hux lying next to him, a smile growing as he watched Ben’s eyes blink to awareness, he realised it was unlikely they’d bother. “Let’s stay,” Hux muttered as he lay on his stomach next to Ben, tracing patterns on Ben’s chest that tickled his skin through his t-shirt. He tucked one arm behind his head as he watched Hux’s movements.

“We can’t just stay here,” Ben said, a smile creeping into his voice despite a feeble attempt to sound disapproving, “people will notice we’re gone.”

“I’ll tell mother you’re sick,” Hux said, obviously having thought this through, “and that I- the gracious host- volunteer to remain home to nurse you.” Hux smirked at Ben’s disdainful expression.

“No one is going to buy that.”

“And why not?” Hux asked, drawing up the bed slightly until he was almost in reach of Ben’s lips. “Would I not make a convincing nurse?”

Ben swallowed a laugh at that, moving his body forward slightly, his lips ghosting Hux’s. “No. No you wouldn’t,” he muttered, “besides, Rey and Phasma would see through it, in their seemingly infinite wisdom.”

“So? It’s not like they’d tell anyone.” Hux pushed himself up onto his knees then, drawing away. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“You could be more convincing- you’re trying to lead me astray. I’ll need persuading.” If he didn’t know better, Ben would say Hux flushed at his words. He watched as Hux swung a leg over Ben’s waist in a sudden, fluid motion so he was straddling Ben’s lap, his thin t-shirt pushing up to reveal a strip of pale skin. Ben inhaled sharply.

Hux lowered himself onto Ben, pinning Ben’s arms at his side as he nosed gently at his ear. “Mother goes into town in a few hours,” he whispered, breath hot, “and I’d like to make the most of this opportunity.” With that he moved to hover his lips above Ben’s for a moment before swooping down to capture his parted mouth with his own. Ben reciprocated the pressure eagerly, opening up for Hux’s invasive tongue.

Ben could feel himself growing hard under the attention. Hux’s mouth swallowed Ben’s moan as he rolled his hips gently against Ben’s growing erection. Moments past before Hux withdrew, gazing down at Ben’s darkened eyes and swollen lips. “Convinced?”

“Thoroughly.”

“Well then,” Hux said, moving off the bed and towards the door, “I’ll tell mother you’re ill, and you try and look it.”

“How exactly?”

“Just look sleepy,” he said, waving a hand at Ben dismissively as he opened the door, “and if she brings in a thermometer just stick it near that lamp to heat it or something- oh and maybe get in your own bed?”

To Ben’s great surprise Bonnie swallowed the story, and was so affectionate that Ben actually began to feel guilty. Eventually she left, and Hux came and sat cross legged on Ben’s bed, where he’d been left thoroughly draped in blankets and with a steaming cup of something lemony.

Ben grinned at Hux, unable to hide his relief as well as any blossoming hope that they may venture beyond making out. Hux failed to return the smile however. “What is it?” Ben asked, sitting up now. They were both still dressed in the underwear and shirts they’d slept in, and Ben couldn’t help but feel distracted by Hux’s attire, despite his concern over his sudden change in mood.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving tomorrow,” Hux muttered, picking at one of the blankets at the bottom of the bed, “I can’t believe this is really it.”

Ben felt a tiny tug in his chest at the sight of Hux’s downcast eyes and so threw back the covers and reached for Hux’s restless hands which he took in his own. Hux looked up at him.

“We have today,” Ben offered quietly, realising as he said it that it was little comfort, “and it was you that said to just enjoy it while we can.”

“I just wish I’d kissed you sooner,” Hux muttered, looking down at their joined hands. Ben inhaled sharply at the words that so precisely mirrored his own thoughts.

“We can make up for it today,” Ben said, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to Hux’s lips as if to confirm the sentiment. “Can you take us to the island again?” Hux nodded, pulling away quickly as if responding to the lack of time they had left.

Neither one of them moved to the bathroom as they dressed- both of them turning their backs yet still managing to catch the other’s eye, and then pretending not to. Ben pulled on yesterday’s jeans and a faded Henley. Hux, to Ben’s great surprise, also avoided colour, selecting an oversized grey jumper and black jeans. The clothes made him seem softer somehow, Ben noted.

After a quick breakfast, they once again made their way from the house, to the docks, and out to the island in silence- something that struck Ben as more profound than any of the other moments they’d spent without talking. He guessed it was the result of Hux’s thoughts reflecting his own, both of them considering that this could be the final time that they see the island together.

Hux left the boat without a word, and Ben once again followed Hux to the island’s highest point, sitting cross-legged next to him as they both faced out to sea. They turned to each other simultaneously, both of them smiling sadly before looking away. Hux took Ben’s hand in his own then, drawing it into his lap as if he wished to examine it up close.

“You know, Rey thought this was a bad idea,” Ben blurted out, part of him not wanting to break the tender bubble that had grown around them, yet unable to bear the intensity of it any longer.

“You discussed me then?” Hux asked, amusement in his voice despite the sadness that lingered about his eyes.

“Phasma told her that you were emotionally unavailable,” Ben said, curious to see if Hux would elaborate on the phrasing. Hux watched him intently for a moment before responding.

“I suppose, up until you arrived, Phasma was quite correct,” he said, looking out to sea once more, whilst continuing to keep Ben’s hand in his lap. The dark clouds rolling in overhead dimmed the bright waters, adding a sense of melancholy to the swirling waves.

“I wasn’t in the best place before you came,” Hux continued, seeming willing to open up. It was now or never, Ben supposed. “It took a while to settle in here of course, and just as I was acclimatising, I met a guy- this was probably about six months ago now.”

Ben quirked an eyebrow at this, but said nothing as Hux continued, brushing Ben’s fingers that he held as he spoke. “He lived here in Dalkey, minutes away, was in the year above at school and was basically the king of the place- handsome, popular, and played for the school team- you know the type. So obviously I was delighted when his attentions turned to me. I should have known better really.”

Hux fell silent for a long time then, for so long in fact that Ben assumed he’d finished his account. That was until Ben turned to truly look at Hux, and noticed a slight redness around his eyes, as fat, silent tears began to roll down his cheeks.

“Hux- what is it?” Ben said, pulling his hands from Hux’s grasp to cup Hux’s cheek, turning him to face him. Hux gave him a watery smile, reaching up to cover one of Ben’s hands with his own, before taking them both into his lap again.

“The guy-I went to his house, a few weeks after we started seeing each other and-” Hux took a few breaths, looking down at Ben’s hands that he clung to in his lap. “He was in bed with this girl and- well he’d never said he was only into guys so I didn’t mind that much at first. To be honest I never expected him to be content with just me,” Hux rubbed his eyes furiously, “but it’s what he said after that- he turned to me and yelled to get out, which I did.  I confronted him the next day and he denied we’d ever been together.”

“Hux, that’s terrible.”

“Well,” he sniffed, “it got worse. No one knew about us you see- I only told Phasma and no one else believed me at the time. God knows what the guy told his friends, but whenever they saw me at school they’d yell, call me a fag, that kind of thing.”

“Has that stopped now?” Ben said, aghast at Hux’s narration. He’d never experienced any form of homophobia himself- Luke was the head of the board of governors at his high school and was the most prominent pride campaigner in the state.

“Yeah, they all graduated and the guy moved to London soon after- got into some high flying uni. Phasma helped set the record straight with people in our year about what really happened, but it took me a while you know.” He turned to Ben with a small smile. “So that’s why I’m emotionally unavailable I suppose. I guess Phasma was looking out for me when she said it.”

“That’s some experience, Hux,” Ben said, more than a little stunned.

“I suppose- but if anything, Ben, you’ve helped me move on,” Hux said quietly, holding Ben’s hand in earnest now, “and maybe I was cold to you at first because I didn’t want to be hurt again.”

Ben couldn’t take it anymore- he swooped forward to capture Hux’s mouth with his own, sighing as the kiss deepened, teeth clashing in their haste. Moments later, the heavy clouds overhead began to burst, and Ben felt the first drops of rain on his nose. Hand in hand they ran to the boat, hurrying back to shore before the storm kicked in.

It was just gone midday as they returned to the house, Hux leading Ben upstairs. They were both thoroughly drenched, so instinctively they both pulled off their outer layers of clothing. They paused for a moment, glancing at each other in their underwear, hair dripping cool water down their backs.

“Hux,” Ben muttered, hands on hips as he stood no more than a metre from Hux.

“Ben.”

In a single stride Ben had crossed the chasm between them, tangling a hand in Hux’s hair as he pulled him close. Hux wrapped an arm around Ben’s waist, lining their torsos together as Ben licked his way into Hux’s mouth. Hux nudged a thigh between Ben’s legs, just brushing against his growing length, earning him a groan of pleasure.

“Hux,” Ben bit out, as Hux moved to suck a mark on the exposed side of Ben’s neck, “Hux I want-”

“Tell me,” Hux whispered, “anything.”

“I want you. I want more.”

“Ben- I – have you ever...” Hux looked Ben dead in the eye as he searched for a response.

“No- I-I want you to do it. I want you. In me, I mean,” Ben said, a blush spreading down his chest.

“Ok,” Hux muttered, breaking away to guide Ben towards the bed by the hand, “ok-we’ll take it slow.”

The quiet tension was soon broken by Hux coolly extracting a bottle of lube from under the bed. “I may also have had this is mind,” Hux said with a smile.

*

24 hours later, Ben was once again seated next to Rey, taking off to begin another long flight home. Ben gripped the arms of the chair a little less than on the way to Dublin. Poe and Finn once again sat holding hands a few rows away, Finn resting a head on Poe’s shoulder. About an hour into the flight, Rey turned to Ben, poking him to get his attention.

“Need I ask where you got that?” she said, gesturing to the dark bruise on Ben’s neck. He raised a hand to it self consciously.

“No,” he muttered. Ben closed his eyes, resting his head against the chair.

After Ben had collapsed in Hux’s arms the previous day, both of them exhausted and sated from their activities, they’d simply lane together, hands joined and legs tangled, noses brushing as they talked.

When hunger demanded they moved, they went downstairs and Ben watched Hux create two perfect vegetable omelettes, which they’d carried back upstairs after changing the sheets. Ben told Hux about Luke, and how different things were at his school. Hux told Ben his plans for some new designs for his final portfolio. Neither of them spoke of Ben’s departure.

They were both dressed when Bonnie returned home, Ben declaring a speedy recovery. If Bonnie was suspicious, she didn’t show it. That night they settled in each other’s arms in Ben’s bed, neither one of them willing to drift off, fully aware of what the morning would bring.

At the airport, Hux had held Ben’s hand the entire time, no one questioning it. When the time came to say goodbye, Hux had captured Ben’s lips with his own, planting a long, lingering kiss, the light pressure articulating that which neither of them dared express. They made no promises for the future as Hux’s fingers slipped away from Ben’s for the final time.

“Ben. Ben, are you ok?” Rey’s voice startled Ben from his thoughts, as he realised there were several large tears he didn’t remember shedding running down his cheeks.

“I’m fine,” he muttered, brushing the offending tears away.

“Hey, Rey,” Ben muttered after a moment.

“Hmm.”

“Did anything ever happen between you and Phasma?”

Rey smiled sadly before turning to Ben. “We kissed just before we left for the airport.”

“So the whole not getting involved plan doesn’t work out so well in practice huh?”

“Seems that way, doesn’t it?” Rey pushed up the dividing arm between them, letting her head rest on Ben’s shoulder. Both of them let their gazes rest on Poe and Finn who were talking animatedly about everything that had happened when they’d been apart.

“You still wandering what love’s like?” Rey whispered, so softly that Ben thought he’d misheard.

He closed his eyes in way of a response, levelling his breathing. It was his turn to feign sleep now.

*

_Three weeks later_

The return to California didn’t mark the complete end of the exchange programme for the students involved. There were evaluations to write, suggested improvements for future trips to discuss, and school presentations to deliver outlining their experiences.

As well as all this, of course, was the continuation of the friendships formed across the ocean.

It was suggested at the start of the project to swap emails with their partners as an extension of the exchange project. Some exchanged real addresses, hoping for a more nostalgic letter writing experience. Naturally Ben and Hux had decided on neither, the matter never having arisen, so it was completely unexpected when Ben’s mother brought a hand addressed letter to his room a few months after the trip.

Ben took the letter from his mother, promptly shutting the door in her face before she could get a word in.

Ignoring her mutterings about how she knew his calm persona discovered upon his return wouldn’t last, he moved across the room. He sat down on his bed and impatiently, he tore the letter open.

_Ben,_

_I guess what I’d mostly like to say is hello. It was a blunder for us to neglect to share contact details (I had to get your address from school) and for us both to fear the goodbye so much that we planned for nothing afterwards._

_I’m writing now because I’ve realised I’ve not lost what I feel for you. I know we didn’t have much time, so forgive me if I’m being presumptuous, but I hold onto the hope that my feelings are reciprocated._

_But I’m also writing with news. I’ve applied to several colleges, one of which is California College of the Arts, so who knows, I may truly be seeing you around some time. I’ll send you a sample of my new work with this- I hope you like it._

_I’ve included a return address and my number, so write back if you can- or just call me._

_Yours, if you’ll have me,_

_Hux._

With shaking hands, Ben put the letter aside to reveal a sheet of folded sketchbook paper underneath. He could have laughed at the sight before him. In Hux’s distinctive style, a male form with long, dark hair was depicted in some sort of detailed robe: heavy black sleeves flowed into a floor length cloak lined with red. The figure was striking, almost menacing to behold in such an outfit.

Ben once again reached for Hux’s letter, turning it over now to find a mobile number on the back as promised. He reached for his phone, caring little for the expense of long distance calls, and began to dial.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Come say hi on [tumblr](http://luthienthetolkienite.tumblr.com/)  
> The title of this fic is taken from the song 'Stop Your Tears' by Aldous Harding.


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